Comfort

The most comforting words I have heard or read since the worst day were sent to my by a friend.  (Thanks, Julie)  Every time I have read it through, every time, I hear Terry speaking the words to me.  I love them.  I love him.  

Death is Nothing at All

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well. 

--Henry Scott Holland

50/50

This Friday, I will turn 50 years old.  There.  I said it.  I've been thinking a lot about that number.  When my own dear mum was 50, she had a 10 year old...me.  I can't imagine having a 10 year old right now.  She was quite the woman.  Several of my friends have turned 50 this year and some had turned 50, years ago.   I will be 50.  You will be 50.  I'm beginning to understand that 50 is just a number.  A number  I'm sort of proud of.

With this upcoming milestone, I've been thinking a lot about bucket lists.  Things that, now that I'm "over the hill" I will aspire to complete before my life is over...I'm on the downside now ya know!  I have a great list.  I'm going to share it here on the old blog.  But not today.  Today, I've been thinking of all the things I've actually DONE with the first 50 years.  I've been told I should write a book about my life.  No one would read it, I'm sure.  BUT, maybe they would read my life's story in list form?  Please realize that this list isn't meant as a big, braggy "look at my awesomeness" blog pose.  I like to think of it as a reminder to myself that my life hasn't been wasted so far.  That I've had some unique experiences that I won't have to add to my future Bucket List, because, for better or worse, I've already lived them.  They have shaped and molded me into who I am today...for better or worse!

So, here is the completed First 50 Year Bucket List I Didn't Know I Had Made:
(in no particular order)

•     Rode an elephant through the jungles of Sri Lanka.
•     Saw the Atlantic Ocean.
•     Saw the Pacific Ocean.
•     Dipped my toe in the Indian Ocean.
•     Ate a cricket (or two)
•     Used an Eastern toilet every day for three months.
•     Met Jared, the Subway sandwich guy.
•     Lost 150 pounds.
•     Visited the following historical or iconic North American cities:  NYC, Boston, Chicago, LA, Seattle, St. Paul, Portland, Boise, Phoenix, Helena, Denver, Sacramento, Kansas City (Missouri), Kansas City (Kansas), Las Vegas, Reno, Sante Fe, New Orleans, Albuquerque, Houston, St. Paul, Nauvoo, Cheyenne, Miami, Toronto, Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver, Regina, Winnepeg, and Tijuana!  (Yes, that last one is an iconic city!)
•     Kissed a pig.
•     Born and raised in Cardston, Alberta, Canada.
•     Taught myself to quilt.
•     Graduated from Ricks College
•     Graduated from BYU
•     Wrote a Master's Thesis on gender equity in elementary school.
•     Sang Karaoke (Kanye West's "GoldDigger")
•     Been to Disneyland.
•     Have successfully constructed many pieces of IKEA furniture.
•     Have taught for 26 years.
•     Went repelling in Southern Utah.
•     Have lost many family and friends to the next life:  My dad, my mom, my sister Donna, Kyle (nephew), Randi (niece), both sets of grandparents, my love...my boyfriend...my all.
•     Have spoken at four funerals. (Mom, Dad, Donna, and Terry)
•     Saw my first marriage die after only three years in it.
•     Birthed two daughters only 13 months apart.  (My biggest accomplishment thus far!)
•     Was a single mother for 7 years.
•     Wed the man of my dreams (Terry Anderson)
•     Became a step-mother to 4 children and 2 in laws.
•     Became a step-grandmother.
•     Sealed in the temple to my Terry by my very own father!
•     Been white water rafting.
•     Flown in a two seater airplane over the Arizona desert.
•     Teacher of the year 2012.
•     97% computer savvy.
•     Was a radio show host of "Scripture Stories" on The Mormon Channel.
•     Drove a school bus about 50 yards.
•     Got kicked off a school bus when I was in Grade 3 for making lewd comments that I didn't know I was making...thanks a lot Scott Olsen!)
•     Drove a three-wheeled taxi around a parking lot in Sri Lanka.
•     Served an LDS mission to the Singapore mission which included Malaysia, and Sri Lanka.
•     I taught English in a Buddhist girls school, a Hindu college, and a Methodist college.  (see above)
•     Picked tea leaves alongside "real" tea leaf pickers in Sri Lanka.  I have the lice to prove it!  (just kidding)
•     Visited three continents:  North America, Asia, and South America.
•     Have eaten entire meals just using my right hand...no utensils.  It tastes better that way.
•     Young Women's President
•     Became a Diet Coke drinker (best decision of my life!  Hm.....)
•     Took up yoga and love it to this very day.
•     Stood on the equator.
•     Raised over $1000 for charity.
•     Am a member of an online community whose members I consider dear friends.  They were amazing at keeping me afloat after Terry died.  I love them.
•     Had 11 major surgeries...and lived to tell about them.
•     Taught myself how to make French Macarons.
•     Created and maintain an online business.
•     Been on CNN
•     Had the same BFF for the past 23 years!



There you have it!  50 +2 accomplishments in my life.  Now...on to the next 50!