An Update

Well, a lot has happened since March 2.  As most of you who read this blog on a regular basis know, I had surgery on that day to reimplant my right ureter into my right kidney which had been damaged from an earlier surgery last October 15 in which a tumor was removed from the cavity of my abdomen  Whew!  That was a lot of information squished into a tiny space.

My recovery was going along swimmingly when, I started having horrible, raging high fevers.  Why?  My incision had been collecting pus like there was no tomorrow (I thought about including pictures here but then thought better of it...you're welcome!).  So, it all came down to being tossed back and forth from the wound care clinic and my surgeon to see whether to keep the wound (which they ended up cutting open) gaping open or sew it back up.  In the end...Dr. Soisson sewed it back up which took place yesterday.  We'll see how it all works out.  Only time will tell.  (pssttt...if you'd like to see a picture of the wound OR the stitched up wound just ask (sicko!))

My New Read

When you live in a 4000+ square foot home, you (I) tend to gather a lot of stuff.  I really have felt for a long time that I have too much junk and it suffocates me.  I read the review for this book in one of my many magazines I've stockpiled (ha).

It looks like it's for me.  I'll read it as I rest from my wounds.  I'll mark it up with pens, pencils, and post it flags (you're welcome Oprah).

So, I will make all the lists I need to in order to "Clear the Clutter, and Find My Life."  Once done and once I'm recovered, I WIL do this.  I feel too cluttered.  I need a fresh life and changes in that life.  

I am setting a goal for January 1, 2010 to have thrown out, donated, shared, or sold at least 50 things from every three rooms in my house.  These "things"  aren't like 1 magazine, or 1 old bottle of nail polish...it's 1 pile of old magazines, or 1 bundle of old nail polish.

So, who wants to join me???  We could check up on each other.  This could be fun.  Yes?

I refuse...

to make anymore blog posts until I get some comments.

Picture me sitting on the floor with my legs and arms crossed looking at you like it's you're turn to leave a comment.  

Force it.

Lie about it.

Make it up.

Just throw me a bone!

I need a comment.

Thanks in advance!

How I Am Going to Become a Millionaire:

Dear Surgical Adhesive Tape Manufacturers:

Thank you for your efforts in creating adhesive tape that holds bandages in place over a wound.  I understand the need for it.  I've seen your p

ackaging with words like "gentle", "breathable", "hypoallergenic",  and "water resistant".  I get that you have to put that on your packaging in order to sell it to the medical community and regular consumers alike.  Otherwise, your only customers would be hockey players who need it

 to wrap around their sticks to create an awesome grip.  Thanks to its rough texture and the fact that it leaves no residue when removed it is ideal for these athletes...Go Oilers!

But, as one who has spent the last two weeks using and removing your surgical tape, let me just say this....YOU LIE!  It is NOT gentle.  I have tried every kind of tape that I was able to steal (and not feel too guilty) from the many, many doctor's offices I have been to lately.  None of them are in the least bit worthy of a promotion that says "gentle".  

Seriously, you should see my abdominal skin.  It is not pretty.  Now I must change my dressing twice a day because of some "issues".  I no longer even blink at the gaping hole in my abdomen that is being cared for by the wound clinic.  Oh no.  That is the least of my medical apprehension.  But the anticipation of having to remove your "breathable" tape almost does me in.  I've tried removing it quickly...like a bandaid...only the tape is 10x the length of a bandaid.  Doesn't work.  I've tried removing it slowly...Ya right.  Nothing makes it easier.  I just have to do it!

So, I am declaring to you that I am planning on inventing an "ouchless" surgical tape.  One that is "gentle", "breathable", "hypo allergenic", and "water resistant".  However, MY tape will also be designed to actually feel better the more you take it off and on.  It will never lose it's adhesiveness nor its sparkly white sheen.  I may even include a lovely scent to the tape that will make people long for wounds so they can buy my tape.

Be afraid my friends...be very afraid.  If I can figure out how

 to bring my invention to fruition, I promise to give a free roll to every doctor that I have ever stolen tape from in the past.  I know it is a big undertaking.  I will work on it in my free time and hopefully have it completed, packaged, and on the shelves before I die.  Big dreams.  Big hopes.  No more ripped skin.

Sincerely,

Tamiwiththethinthinabdominalskin

I FINALLY finished this book.  It took me 

forever, not because it was bad, but because I only read it 

before bed.  Then, when I really got

 into it, I had to keep going back to make sure I hadn't missed a single clue.  About two thirds of the way through, I stopped with the "only before bed" and couldn't put it down.  I read it straight through.

This was the book that my surgeon, Dr. Soissen, suggested to me a few months ago.  I hesitate to make a blanket recommendation to the world.  It has overtaken my thoughts since finishing it.  It doesn't have much to do with wolves (which was my first hang up about reading it).  

So, let me tell you a little about it and you can decide for yourself:

 

• It's a wonderful murder mystery.
• It takes place in 1867 in the frozen tundra near the Hudson Bay in Northern Canada.  Brrrr....I've never "felt" the cold while reading a book like I did with this book.

• I loved the different voices.  The entire book is delivered in third person except for one character, Mrs. Ross.  She is the only one who tells the story in first person.  I LOVED that about this book.  I want more Mrs. Ross books.

• The author, Steff Penney is actually a screen writer.  This is her first novel.  I think she is so cool.  She is very talented.  In this, her very first novel she weaved suspense, revelation, and humor (a bit)  into such a great thriller.  It was romantic without the old "in your face" romance.  She was one of the best storytellers I have read in quite a while.

Wow!  After reading my review, I guess I really did love it.  I think I'll read it again.  If any of you decide to read it, please let me know what you think.

Swears

#%&!

Dang, Fetch, oh, my heck,

What the holy scrud?

H-E-double hockey sticks

That's frickin', flippin', crud!

(Chorus of  "Dang, Fetch, Oh My Heck" from the Oscar  worthy "Sons of Provo"  (hee, hee))

It seems like everytime I've turned around this week, I've heard something about swearing.  First, my friend Sue wrote a blog/letter to her six daughters reminding them to keep their swears down.  

On Monday, I was chatting with my niece Jodi.  I was talking about how sore I was after my surgery and let the sh**  word fly.  She asked "Do you kiss your grandchildren with that same mouth?" 

 Just last night, my family was all sitting around watching "The Amazing Race".  I told them all my new goal "I've decided to never let my grandchildren hear me swear."  Erika (she always sets me straight) looked at me and said "Well, why don't you start practicing NOW?"  Good point.  Thanks for the slug in the gut!

I was raised in a home where we weren't allowed to swear AT.ALL.  I can honestly say that I never heard either parent swear until I was in my early 20's.   Here's how that went:

Mom:  Ray will you run down to the basement and get me a loaf of bread?

Dad:  I'll walk but I'll be damned if I'm going to run.

I think my mother and I could not stop laughing for an hour and even now I get a little chuckle out of it.

 Swearing.  We just didn't do it.  That's why I loved to go to church and sing the hymns because I was sure to find a perfectly legal "Hell" or "Ass" that I could sing extra loud.  The same was true in the scriptures.  So, It wasn't that big of a deal to have to read them.  And, if the scriptures say those words, it must be okay... right?

When my dad was a small boy, he was helping my grandpa fix a fence out in their field.  My pop missed his target and ended up hitting his leg with the sledge hammer...it was a serious injury.  My dad yelled "Oh Lordy, Lordy."  My grandfather told him "Son, you will not take the Lord's name in vain in my sight.  Go home and wait for me there."  I'm sure the waiting part was worse than the strapping he got when his dad finally made it home. 

I will say, I'm not THAT extreme.  In fact, I think that a well placed hell, damn, or shi**  can add emphasis to a conversation.  And often, there is no other way to say it.  A good swear will do it's job.  But you will NEVER hear me take the Lord's name in vain.  That is not me.  And if you know me, you know that I don't judge anyone who uses strong language I love you just the same (given that I loved you in the first place!  HA!).  

I will end with this.  It is something a friend told me a long time ago about swearing.  She said that when we swear, we just haven't taken the time to choose a better word.  I'll try to choose better words.  I really will.  But, damn it's hard! 

My handsome dad.

Today is the day...

     I'm going home!!

A Perfect Day For Visitors

I am floored by my awesome friends. Really and truly. I had so many supporters today that I felt the need for an entire blog post about it. So, here we go...

I am amazed at the love people pour out when I'm down. I just hope I can reciprocate if possible someday. Sometimes I am not the most sympathetic person. It really bothers me that I have a hard time helping people who are sick. I just don't know what to do. Thanks to those around me who are teaching me to be more compassionate and patient with the sick.

Today I received phone calls from:

My friend Chelle who lives in Georgia.

My friend Pam who lives in Tulsa.

My neighbor Nena.

My neighbor Ethel (yes, Ethel I absolutely want to follow her to Heaven...she's that good!)

Melissa and Erika.

My grandkids Milo and Issy. (Today is their birthday...they're 5!)

"Hey how are you" emails and Facebook chats: Way, way too many to name. I was overwhelmed.

My neighbor Lori took dinner to Terry at our house.

Sarah and Brian (my brother and his wife) sent flowers.

Frank and Becky (Terry's brother and his wife) sent flowers too.

Actual visitors at the hospital:

• My partner teacher Adrianne. She came baring letters from my class of first graders, abag of Cadbury eggs which I put in my puke/candy dish, and a Diet Coke (bless her).

• My Terry of course (baring kisses)

• My BFF Kathe baring Oprah magazine and these puppies:

These are my favorite Easter candy. I eat an entire bag on the

first day they are in the stores...every year. However, my very favorite

are the blue ones. I rarely share them.

Kathe had bought several bags 

and picked out the blue ones

then put them in a bag just for me.

THAT is friendship!

• My daughter Melissa who brought me a Cafe Rio chicken salad...delicious.

• My pregnant daughter Erika and her husband Tyler dropped by...happy as usual.

• THEN...two of my darling first graders and their mothers came to visit.

This is Ashley. Her mother Judy is Terry's niece. I get to teach my little

niece and it is such a privilege. I let her call me Aunt Tami.

(BTW... she does NOT look like this. This is her Hannah Montana Halloween costume. She actually has lovely

light brown hair. She is the only one in my class who hasn't lost a tooth yet!)

Ashley melted my heart as she looked at me with very worried eyes.

She was curious about my IV, the blood pressure pump, and my breathing

apparatus. She and Judy brought me some amazing lotion that smells

unbelievable (how did she know I was getting dry skin?), some chocolate, and an outstanding card and letter.

This is Caleb. You may have seen him in other posts I've made.

He is so very sweet. He had a lot of questions about what the white board

in my room was for, what the pain pump did, and how the tv controller worked.

He and his lovely mother brought me a box of chocolates and a book

from Barnes and Noble. Plus, two or three cards and drawings.

We had quite the chat as Caleb and Ashley sat on my bed and told me what was going on at school (who was being good or naughty...they said everyone was being good).

So, do you see why I am overwhelmed? This is just TODAY! I could go on and on about the past week. I just don't feel worthy of the service. All I did to deserve it was have a couple of kidney problems!

My Eight (count 'em) 8 Perfect Grandchildren! That Terry Blessed Me With

Take a gander at all of my step children that I love so much!  I promise never to be the wicked step grami.  You might want to check out their blogs too.

Our oldest grandson is Royan.  He's Josh's son.  I just got a new computer so I don't have his picture, and since Josh doesn't blog (giggle at the thought), I couldn't steal one. 

Just picture a handsome little 11 year old devil.

Spencer and Erin

click here for more

 5 year old (tomorrow!) Milo.

 5 year old (tomorrow) Issy.

This little sweetie is Keeler.  He came to Spencer and Erin's home just last Saturday.

I want to put my arms around that brave little birth mother who

made Spencer and Erin's family complete by sharing her sweet

baby with all of us.

Yay!

Melissa and her twinners

click here for more 

Just so sweet.

Olivia

Lyla

Abbie and Forrest

click here for more

What a gorgeous family!

Eli

Eli again...just so you can actually see his face.

Darling little Audrie.

I am so lucky.

Don't you agree?

Her Eggo Is Prego!!!

These two are making me a GRAMI again!!!

Of course they HAD to come up with a creative way to tell us.

This was it...

I was greeted with this fine array of goodness on my counter 

yesterday.

I am in love with the movie Juno.  These references are from the movie.  

In Juno's opening scene, it shows Juno "Drinking my weight in Sunny D."  She then takes

a pregnancy test.  Then Rollo (the store clerk) tells her that her Eggo is Prego.

To "get" the etch-a-sketch reference click here .

Erika worked her magic and wrote:

"A doodle that can't be undid"

Sooo cute.

I am so very excited...as is Melissa.  She is already planning all the stuff she's going to buy for "IT"